P. Nymans Everything's Perfect And Nobody's Happy

My Poem 2012

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 21:40:03 +0000

So, we’ve got a poetry competition at school, where we can write about anything. Please let me know what you think. Here goes…

THE SOUTHBANK

I could easily spend a whole week just sitting on the Southbank

Watching all the people, all these strange characters, walking about, with places to go, but somehow lost amongst the grey, coldness, but irresistible charm, of this strange area, just off the West End.

I love it.

I can see a matinee at the National Theatre (in the massive Olivier auditorium, the slightly smaller Lyttelton auditorium, or in the tiny, black box auditorium of the Cottesloe.) Then I’ll waste an hour in the bookshop, flicking through hundreds and hundreds of marvelous plays and books.

I can then go and see a film at the BFI, usually one that you’d be hard pressed to find another copy of, and bam, that’s another hour wasted in a bookshop.

After that I’ll find dinner (usually at the same place) and then just sit, the first moment of peace all day, and just watch. And I’ll watch the Thames float gently by, and the pitter patter of the light, London drizzle, and I just sit. And think. And I’ll think about anything, just to pass the time, because one day, I know that this’ll all be gone. And it’ll be office blocks and they’ll have the same greyness as the Southbank, but not the same charm. And I know, that when, eventually, it’s all gone, I’ll die a bit inside, because I feel like this is my little private space, and then I won’t know where to go, and just think, in peace.

I treasure every moment I spend there.

And I love it.

Too soon?

Tue, 19 Jul 2011 19:15:41 +0100

Too soon?

andynyman: The genius that was Dennis Potter speaking in 1994...

Tue, 19 Jul 2011 18:51:22 +0100

andynyman:

The genius that was Dennis Potter speaking in 1994 & look where we are now. #hackgate

One of my favourite jokes.

Tue, 19 Jul 2011 17:46:06 +0100

Someone said something to me today which reminded me of one of my all time favourite jokes (of which I have heard many). Forgive me if you’ve heard this one, or indeed made it up.

Here goes:

John is housesitting for Dave while Dave is on holiday. One day, John calls him up and says ‘I don’t quite know how to tell you this, but your cat is dead. It just fell off the roof.’
‘Jesus!’ Dave says. ‘You could have broken the news to me a little lighter!’
‘How?’
‘Well, you could have said Your cat was playing on the roof and he fell off and is no longer with us.’
‘Ok, sorry’
He hangs up.
A few days later, John calls Dave again, and says ‘Your mum was playing on the roof…’

I hope you enjoyed.

Understandable funnyordie: The Greatest Pizzeria Review Ever...

Mon, 27 Jun 2011 20:09:37 +0100

Understandable

funnyordie:

The Greatest Pizzeria Review Ever Written

In this restaurant’s defense, the reviewer did acknowledge that the food was good.

A clearer view of the rude food names.

Sun, 19 Jun 2011 11:22:00 +0100

A clearer view of the rude food names.

Let’s play… SPOT THE RUDE FOOD NAMES!!! Answers:...

Sun, 19 Jun 2011 11:17:52 +0100

Let’s play… SPOT THE RUDE FOOD NAMES!!!

Answers: ɐʞuoq ‘ןɐʇuǝƜ ‘ʇuıɯssı⋊ ƃuıɹǝʇɐM ‘sʇı∩ɔsıq ɥɔıʍpɯɐS ɯɐǝɹↃ ‘ԀԀoןP ‘ʞu∩ԀS ‘sıqɐuuɐↃ ‘ʎʞoP ‘ɹǝɯɐǝɹↃ ‘o⅁ o⊥ sɟɟ∩P ‘ɐʞuoq ‘ɹǝʎǝɯʞu∩ԀS sıʇO ‘ʎuuɐℲ ‘ƃuıLɐƜ ‘ʎss∩P ‘ʞɔɐɯS ‘ʇıH-ƃɐןS ‘Ԁ∩oS ʞɔoↃ ‘ʇǝǝɥS ƃıq ‘uooↃ ‘pɹoןǝʎɐ⅁ ‘ɹǝuɐuɐq ɯ∩ʞS ‘ɐʞuoq

This is so awesome. I just love the ballsyness of the way the...

Tue, 07 Jun 2011 21:08:18 +0100

This is so awesome. I just love the ballsyness of the way the music kicks in at the end. Love it.

What an arsehole funnyordie: Sharks: The Anatomy of an...

Thu, 02 Jun 2011 10:24:21 +0100

What an arsehole

funnyordie:

Sharks: The Anatomy of an Asshole

These f**king guys, am I right?

What Kind Of Fool Am I is one of my all time favourites, and I...

Thu, 02 Jun 2011 10:22:45 +0100

What Kind Of Fool Am I is one of my all time favourites, and I love both the Anthony Newley version and the Sammy Davis Jr. one, but this combines the two personalities so perfectly, that it’s an absolute joy to watch.

MY VERY FIRST SHORT FILM!!!

Sun, 01 May 2011 17:57:24 +0100

MY VERY FIRST SHORT FILM!!!:

This is my very first short film ‘Seasons Of Raoul’. I’ll let you know when you can vote. REBLOG!!!

Please Click On Me To Watch My Brother's Very Funny Short Film He's Made.

Sun, 01 May 2011 17:47:58 +0100

Please Click On Me To Watch My Brother's Very Funny Short Film He's Made.

macynyman: My effortlessly stylish brother vintage shopping in...

Sun, 01 May 2011 17:47:45 +0100

macynyman:

My effortlessly stylish brother vintage shopping in Brick Lane

Photo

Thu, 28 Apr 2011 22:56:47 +0100

"There is no requirement for the actors to be funny. On the contrary, there is no quicker way to kill..."

Thu, 28 Apr 2011 22:55:02 +0100

“There is no requirement for the actors to be funny. On the contrary, there is no quicker way to kill the comedy should they attempt to be.”

- Alan Ayckbourn-The Crafty Art Of Playmaking.

I’m sure he’s a lovely man, but this has to be one...

Sat, 23 Apr 2011 21:44:18 +0100

I’m sure he’s a lovely man, but this has to be one of the cockiest things I have ever forced myself to watch. Excruciating.

Funny

Sat, 23 Apr 2011 21:25:00 +0100

I’ve just come out of the Odeon West End. I was seeing Arthur. It was one of the lamest pieces of cinema ever witnessed by these aegies (pronounced A-GEE-ZE. Meaning eyes) of mine. Literally, I paid £12.00 to sit in a dark room, with an annoying 10 year old behind me, kicking my chair and an audience of imbeciles, for 2 laughs. Yeah, that’s right, 2 LAUGHS!!! Which I then realised that I have been suckered into paying £6 per laugh. 6 QUID FOR A LAUGH! Now that’s expensive even by my standards, and I’ll pay anything for a good laugh.

Why is comedy treated as the poorer cousin of drama. It really pees me off. Make a good comedy. It’s not that hard if you have the right people on board. Universal should be ashamed.

Preston

andynyman: This is the beautifully designed V&A rotating...

Sat, 23 Apr 2011 20:09:19 +0100

andynyman:

This is the beautifully designed V&A rotating sign outside the museum’s tunnel entrance. Deceptively simple & elegant, I love the way your brain completes the letter A. Lovely.

"Worry is like a rocking chair. It’ll give you something to do, but it wont get you anywhere."

Wed, 20 Apr 2011 20:58:59 +0100

“Worry is like a rocking chair. It’ll give you something to do, but it wont get you anywhere.”

- Glenn Turner

So is this.

Wed, 20 Apr 2011 20:57:20 +0100

So is this.