My Poem 2012

So, we’ve got a poetry competition at school, where we can write about anything. Please let me know what you think. Here goes…

THE SOUTHBANK

I could easily spend a whole week just sitting on the Southbank

Watching all the people, all these strange characters, walking about, with places to go, but somehow lost amongst the grey, coldness, but irresistible charm, of this strange area, just off the West End.

I love it.

 

I can see a matinee at the National Theatre (in the massive Olivier auditorium, the slightly smaller Lyttelton auditorium, or in the tiny, black box auditorium of the Cottesloe.) Then I’ll waste an hour in the bookshop, flicking through hundreds and hundreds of marvelous plays and books.

I can then go and see a film at the BFI, usually one that you’d be hard pressed to find another copy of, and bam, that’s another hour wasted in a bookshop.

 

After that I’ll find dinner (usually at the same place) and then just sit, the first moment of peace all day, and just watch. And I’ll watch the Thames float gently by, and the pitter patter of the light, London drizzle, and I just sit. And think. And I’ll think about anything, just to pass the time, because one day, I know that this’ll all be gone. And it’ll be office blocks and they’ll have the same greyness as the Southbank, but not the same charm. And I know, that when, eventually, it’s all gone, I’ll die a bit inside, because I feel like this is my little private space, and then I won’t know where to go, and just think, in peace.

 

I treasure every moment I spend there.

 

And I love it.


andynyman:

The genius that was Dennis Potter speaking in 1994 & look where we are now. #hackgate

6 notes

One of my favourite jokes.

Someone said something to me today which reminded me of one of my all time favourite jokes (of which I have heard many). Forgive me if you’ve heard this one, or indeed made it up.

Here goes:

John is housesitting for Dave while Dave is on holiday. One day, John calls him up and says ‘I don’t quite know how to tell you this, but your cat is dead. It just fell off the roof.’
‘Jesus!’ Dave says. ‘You could have broken the news to me a little lighter!’
‘How?’
‘Well, you could have said Your cat was playing on the roof and he fell off and is no longer with us.’
‘Ok, sorry’
He hangs up.
A few days later, John calls Dave again, and says ‘Your mum was playing on the roof…’


I hope you enjoyed.

1 note

Understandable
funnyordie:

The Greatest Pizzeria Review Ever Written
In this restaurant’s defense, the reviewer did acknowledge that the food was good.

Understandable

funnyordie:

The Greatest Pizzeria Review Ever Written

In this restaurant’s defense, the reviewer did acknowledge that the food was good.

748 notes

A clearer view of the rude food names.

3 notes

Let’s play… SPOT THE RUDE FOOD NAMES!!!

Answers: ɐʞuoq ‘ןɐʇuǝƜ ‘ʇuıɯssı⋊ ƃuıɹǝʇɐM ‘sʇı∩ɔsıq ɥɔıʍpɯɐS ɯɐǝɹↃ ‘ԀԀoןP ‘ʞu∩ԀS ‘sıqɐuuɐↃ ‘ʎʞoP ‘ɹǝɯɐǝɹↃ ‘o⅁ o⊥ sɟɟ∩P ‘ɐʞuoq ‘ɹǝʎǝɯʞu∩ԀS sıʇO ‘ʎuuɐℲ ‘ƃuıLɐƜ ‘ʎss∩P ‘ʞɔɐɯS ‘ʇıH-ƃɐןS ‘Ԁ∩oS ʞɔoↃ ‘ʇǝǝɥS ƃıq ‘uooↃ ‘pɹoןǝʎɐ⅁ ‘ɹǝuɐuɐq ɯ∩ʞS ‘ɐʞuoq

Let’s play… SPOT THE RUDE FOOD NAMES!!!

Answers: ɐʞuoq ‘ןɐʇuǝƜ ‘ʇuıɯssı⋊ ƃuıɹǝʇɐM ‘sʇı∩ɔsıq ɥɔıʍpɯɐS ɯɐǝɹↃ ‘ԀԀoןP ‘ʞu∩ԀS ‘sıqɐuuɐↃ ‘ʎʞoP ‘ɹǝɯɐǝɹↃ ‘o⅁ o⊥ sɟɟ∩P ‘ɐʞuoq ‘ɹǝʎǝɯʞu∩ԀS sıʇO ‘ʎuuɐℲ ‘ƃuıLɐƜ ‘ʎss∩P ‘ʞɔɐɯS ‘ʇıH-ƃɐןS ‘Ԁ∩oS ʞɔoↃ ‘ʇǝǝɥS ƃıq ‘uooↃ ‘pɹoןǝʎɐ⅁ ‘ɹǝuɐuɐq ɯ∩ʞS ‘ɐʞuoq

1 note

This is so awesome. I just love the ballsyness of the way the music kicks in at the end. Love it.

1 note

What an arsehole
funnyordie:

Sharks: The Anatomy of an Asshole
These f**king guys, am I right?

What an arsehole

funnyordie:

Sharks: The Anatomy of an Asshole

These f**king guys, am I right?

162 notes

What Kind Of Fool Am I is one of my all time favourites, and I love both the Anthony Newley version and the Sammy Davis Jr. one, but this combines the two personalities so perfectly, that it’s an absolute joy to watch.